My Personal Goal(s)

	I want to understand God's Holy Words for myself and to be able to teach others without taking the scriptures out of context. Also, I desire to interpret the Word of God without adding or taking away from HIS message. 

	So, I decided that to understand the Bible better; I must know the background setting of each book in the Bible. Why is that important? Suppose I understand what was going on during those days and times, why the author wrote those "Words" to the readers, the purpose, and the message's intentions. In that case, I can better understand what the message is meant for us in our generation and how I can apply the "Words of God" in my daily life. 

	I want to organize my thoughts and studies and store all the information in a place ready to be retrievable at my aggression. So, I decided to make this website to keep track of everything I am studying, and I wanted to share it with "you," the readers, in the hope that it will help "you" take your next step toward Christ and to grow in the knowledge of God. 

When I was a little boy, I heard the audible voice of God. God spoke directly to me. God doesn't always talk in an audible voice. But, I'm glad that He has spoken openly to me. Because of that, I know that God is alive, and He is the only true Holy Living God. As I grew older, I walked away from God. I started living in sin, and I broke my promise to God. Hearing God's voice should have motivated me to live a Holy LifeStyle. But, God has given each person a choice of freedom to choose HIM or reject HIM. Even though I know God is real, I still chose the wrong things in my life. In reality, I rejected HIM though I never spoke the words. Many of us believe in God, yet we have not given our life to HIM. Therefore, you are rejecting Jesus as your Lord and Savior. "No one can serve two masters. You will hate one and love the other; you will be devoted to one and despise the other..."(Tyndale House Publishers, Holy Bible: New Living Translation (Carol Stream, IL: Tyndale House Publishers, 2015), Mt 6:24.)

When I was a high school student, I finally gave my life back to God. I was living right, and I enjoyed following my pastor. I knew he was a true man of God. Following him has made me a stronger Christian. I was determined never to leave God again. But one day, I found a CD Disk in my home. It belonged to one of my brothers. I played that disk, and I suddenly realized that it was a pornography CD. I quickly ejected that CD. I wish I had never seen it. Later on, while I was washing, I did something. I do not know any other way to put it but to come out and tell you that " I masturbated." Immediately, I felt a significant disconnection between God and me. Whenever a person sins, it will cause a separation between you and Jesus. That is why we ought to confess our sins.

"But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness." (Tyndale House Publishers, Holy Bible: New Living Translation (Carol Stream, IL: Tyndale House Publishers, 2015), 1 Jn 1:9.)

Well, I didn't confess my sins. I felt bad. I might have said, "God forgive me," but I still felt terrible. How could I have sinned? Why me? Later, I found myself running from God. Why could no one have sensed my falling away? But, I couldn't blame others for my downfall or the sins I've committed in God's eye.

 Next, I joined the military. Guess what? Well, it got worse from there. I experience so many things in the military. While I was training to become a Marine, another recruit spit in my face. Can you guess what happened after that? I broke another one of my promises to God. I promised God that I wouldn't fight anymore. Well, you guessed it. I punched that guy, I was past rage, and I wanted to kill that white guy. How could someone be so evil and spit in my face? Keep reading! My life became much worst.

After graduating from the Marine Corps Boot Camp, I received orders to my next duty station. I do not remember precisely when I broke another promise to God, but I broke another one. I promised God that I wouldn't curse anymore. You guess it! I started using profanity again, and I was like a professional.

Let me fast forward. When I got to my first duty station in Japan, the ball started rolling downhill. I went with other Marines to a nightclub. I remember when I saw this girl in the club. She was a waiter. I ordered a drink to show her that I was interested in her. I thought it was a good idea at that moment to order a drink because I wanted to impress her. It wasn't a strong drink, but a drink is still a drink. Perhaps drinking alcohol would show her that I am down to earth, and I didn't want her to know I was a Christian. In other words, I tried to hide even more of who I am.

I was a child of God living in sin. Maybe drinking could lead to having a relationship with her. But, I was wrong to choose those things. Nothing happened with her, but the devil had me where he wanted me. The devil wanted me to step outside the WILL of God. And I did just that. I did that by walking after the flesh and living in sin, plus I stopped confessing my sins. There is pleasure in sin, and it felt good. So, of course, I wasn't living "by the Spirit of God" anymore. I didn't feel any connection with him. I had a dead conscious, which is a terrible thing to have.

There is pleasure in sin, and it seems so fun because you are enjoying what the world calls "living the life." The world would say, "Enjoy your life; you only have one life to live, so live it." That way of thinking is wrong.

I guess this is where I tell you about the three things I promised God that I would not do anymore. But first, let me give you a little more background to my story. I was under 13 years old, and I remember this preacher named Kervy Brown came to my church. You can google him, and now I think he is a "Bishop." He said God led him to tell all the kids to come up into the pulpit. Next, he said that the highest praise we can give God is " Hallelujah." He wanted us to close our eyes and repeat the word Hallelujah to God while we clap our hands. So, I did just that. Another boy was standing beside me. I could hear him crying. Suddenly, tears started coming out of my eyes, and I focused on God. I didn't know what was going on. I was in the Spirit. As the Spirit of God moved me, I could feel HIS presence lifting my hands until my arms were stretched out wide and my head was towards the sky. God's Holy Spirit is Almighty. He is truly the Only Almighty Holy Living God.

The Holy Spirit was moving all around me. I will leave out a few details about how it felt when the Holy Spirit moved all around me. Suddenly, I heard the voice of God, and He said to me, " Say it or die." It all happened so fast. I didn't ask God what He wanted me to say. God gave me "understanding" about what He wanted me to say, and I replied to HIM, " I won't cuss, I won't steal, I won't fight no more." Then, I was no longer in the Spirit.

 I broke all of my promises so many times. I died spiritually, and I thank God that I didn't die physically. God could have let me die a physical death, but HE had mercy on me.

It is terrible to be spiritually disconnected from God and spiritually dead. "For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord" (New American Standard Bible: 1995 Update (La Habra, CA: The Lockman Foundation, 1995), Ro 6:23.)

Please do not let anyone lie to you. Do not let people convince you that God understands you have a weakness. Therefore it's okay to have sex and fall, which is a lie! You must live a Holy lifestyle because God is Holy. You do not have to choose the wrong things in life. No matter how strong the temptation, YOU DO NOT have to choose it. You can reject it by leaning and depending on the Holy Spirit. The Scriptures say, "You must be holy because I am holy. (Tyndale House Publishers, Holy Bible: New Living Translation (Carol Stream, IL: Tyndale House Publishers, 2015), 1 Pe 1:16.)

"What shall we say then? Are we to continue in sin so that grace may increase? May it never be! How shall we who died to sin still live in it? Or do you not know that all of us who have been baptized into Christ Jesus have been baptized into His death? Therefore we have been buried with Him through baptism into death, so that as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, so we too might walk in newness of life"(New American Standard Bible: 1995 Update (La Habra, CA: The Lockman Foundation, 1995), Ro 6:1–4.)

I Have Peace With God

What made me return to God?

There are so many things that I am leaving out, but I wanted you to have the key stories that caused my heart to turn away from my sins. There were many signs that God was telling me to stop sinning against HIM, but I didn't heed HIS warnings. 

I met this girl one day, and I fell in love with her. Why didn't I stop seeing her? I once told her that she and I shouldn't be together, but she turned my heart away from God.

I am fast-forwarding to where she left me for another guy, which was my breaking point. I didn't want to live anymore. I prayed to God, "please take my life." I beg God to end my suffering. I was sad, lonely, and depressed. Let me back up just a little bit. Before all of this happened, I must tell you that I lost my job because of my military past. I wouldn't say I like talking about it, but it's imperative to my story. So, here I was with no job; I didn't have any friends; I felt that no one cared about me, even my family, and in return, I did not care about my own family. So, add all of that up with the feelings of a broken heart, and what do you get? Well, you get "I want to die" and many other things.

Remember that I am leaving out other details but giving you the key events to my story. I wanted to hate God. Let me tell you this, if it wasn't for God, then I would have committed murder and committed suicide. I recall that I once painted my fingernails black because I wanted to represent the opposite of God. But, there was one thing that I could NOT get over, and that was the fact that I heard the audible voice of God when I was a child. That was my anchor.

I came up with what I thought at the time was a good idea" to stop praying to God." Ha! I can laugh at it now because I was so foolish. How could I possibly beat God? This "beat" means that I will show God that I didn't need HIM and somehow make it without HIM. Boy, oh boy! Since I'm no longer spiritually blind, I can see "What a stupid idea" I had! Well! God had a plan too, and He won. Do you know the story of King Nebuchadnezzar? Then Nebuchadnezzar said, "Praise be to the God of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, who has sent his angel and rescued his servants! They trusted in Him and defied the King's command and were willing to give up their lives rather than serve or worship any god except their own God." (Daniel 3:28, NIV)

The words were still on his lips when a voice came from heaven, "This is what is decreed for you, King Nebuchadnezzar: Your royal authority has been taken from you." Immediately what had been said about Nebuchadnezzar was fulfilled. He was driven away from people and ate grass like cattle. His body was drenched with the dew of heaven until his hair grew like the feathers of an eagle and his nails like the claws of a bird. (Daniel 4:31-33, NIV)

Now I, Nebuchadnezzar, praise and exalt and glorify the King of heaven, because everything He does is right and all His ways are just. And those who walk in pride He is able to humble. (Daniel 4:37, NIV)

King Nebuchadnezzar was told that "he will be driven from human society, and he will live in the fields with the wild animals. He will eat grass like a cow, and he will be drenched with the dew of heaven. Seven periods of time will pass while he live that way until king Nebuchadnezzar learn that God is the Most High and that God rules over the kingdoms of the world and gives them to anyone he chooses" (Daniel 4:25) NLT.

Back to my story: I lost everything that I had. No job, No longer in college, no girlfriend, no feelings for my family, no money, and no clothes. And all that was left was depression, a broken heart, and death. So, I prayed to God to take my life. I didn't take my own life because I know God is alive, and I heard that if a person commits suicide, they will go to Hell.

My heart even became more hardened. Now and then, I would cry out to God to help me. I remember confessing to God, " I'm sorry that I said to her that I can not live without her if she leaves me. I take that back God. I can not live without you God. I can live without my ex-girlfriend, I can live without my family, but I can not live without YOU". But God was not finished with me. I had to learn who God is.

So, do you want to know what I did next? My heart was hardened again, and I refused to acknowledge God. I cried for many years, and nobody knew it but me and God. I was dealing with depression and doing shameful things. Plus, some things I was doing were disgraceful for a man to do. But did I care? No! I was living in sin, and I felt abandoned. As I look back over my life, I see that God never left me. He is married to the backsliders. I felt abandoned and many other things because I was spiritually blind, and I could no longer discern the things of God.

I started doing other things to remove the depression, the pain, and everything else that troubled me. One of the things that brought peace to me was gambling. Yup, so I played the Japanese slot machine for years. As long as I wasn't thinking about my past, I was at peace with my life. However, I was not at peace with God.

I wish I could tell more about other events in my life. For example, " I could have fallen from the 9th-floor balcony," all for the sake of wanting to speak to my ex-girlfriend. I believe that God kept me from falling. Do you know how high the 9th floor is? That is high!

Anyway, I am here today to tell you that I no longer reject Jesus Christ. God caused my heart to seek HIM, and now I acknowledge HIM. God is a merciful God, and I can feel HIS love for me. I have confessed my sins to God, and He forgave me. I love the Lord with my heart, and I thank God for His Son, Jesus Christ. " Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ" (Roman 5:1) KJV. I thank God for creating a new heart in me and renewing the right Spirit within me.

Finally, I tell you, the readers, to keep "reading the Holy Bible, studying the Holy Bible, and include a daily prayer in your life." If you have to pray two or three times a day, do it, and do whatever it takes to press forward. " lay aside every weight, and sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us" (Hebrews 12:1) KJV Another version of the Bible says "...let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us" (NLT)

I Thank God For Saving Me. Amen!